My Other Morgan

Took my Morgan, Fernking, out for a ride today. Despite her name, she's a good young mare and one of my favorites for a variety of reasons. 😁 Outfit: Yippee Tie-dye Yay Western hat, Bulldogz Glasses, Cappuccino Denim Jacket, Rough blue jeans, Brown Champion Gloves, Yippee Tie-dye Yay boots. Tack: Full Tumbleweed Tan set and the Jorvik Gazette Saddlebag (not pictured because it's on the other side of Fernking.)

Edit: Going to get a little personal here because I want to look back on this someday and instead of trying to remember what I felt, I'm just going to say what I feel and what's going on. I've rarely ever had a friend I felt so close to enough to truly consider them my best friend. I named this horse tongue in cheekly after my best friend, but I don't think we're even friends anymore. And you're probably thinking, "Why don't you just ask her?" And that's where resentment and anger come in. She unfriended me (or deleted her accounts?) on the places I used most frequently to communicate with her and didn't even give me a heads up if it was an amicable thing. The resentment comes from a conversation she and I had about "ghosting" people. She was so high and mighty saying that she'd NEVER ghost someone she cares about, yet she did it. 😅

So, I am simply counting this as a loss of a friend. I have other ways to contact her, but I'm not the type of person to step out of my comfort zone when things were working for many years, only to stop working when one party needs more. I'm not saying she's wrong for doing it either, and I wish her the very best that she's looking for in life. I'm just sad and sorry that I'm not enough anymore and even more sad that I just don't have the energy to try and become something I'm not.

It's safer to keep these feelings out in the open rather than let them get twisted in DMs too, because it is too easy (I am too weak) for me to fall into a trap of saying what someone wants to hear in a private conversation rather than what I really feel... Easier to limit reactions to public facing places too because one-on-one conversations about feelings are just something I can't honestly do any more.